The Possessive love and how it hurts our chances of being sane
There is always a looming sense of threat to our security be it financial or emotional. Even if you have managed to work your way through the troubles heroically, the tables might turn against you tomorrow. Otherwise why else would we be in a constant state of agony and anxiety, in fact more so when we have achieved something beyond our beliefs or which is special!
The necessity to care for others is not just a reflection of our good will but also a reminder of our capabilities to go to such extents for those we love. The extreme ends are dangerous and ruin us but the more moderately possessiveness prevails all around us in abundance. Be it a new mother who cannot let go of her child out of her sight even for a second, or the budding romance where two lovers find it excruciatingly difficult to let go of each other’s arms, the love language entails in itself a certain possessiveness that is healthy up to an extent only.
Anything in excess is harmful and that is a saying that has stuck with me through both my highs and lows. In desperate times one gets carried away to inflict self harm when they cannot find a tangible way to pour out their thoughts, mind and heart. But if we quantify and draw our limits and are made aware of our true nature, both strengths and weaknesses including, it can lead to a more balanced way of handling our emotions that change constantly from hour to hour. A similar thing can be compared to people with possessive nature. A feeling of threat or a sense of fear to lose is natural because we live in uncertain times. People change themselves more often than the number of disasters that hit us and that is scary. You open your heart to someone and then realise they might not have the ability to keep it intact tomorrow. That fear engulfs itself around us so much that it reaches to a point where it metaphorically makes us to choke and deprive the other person of all the love they could have had in their lives but cannot.
Why should there be only one kind of love that needs protection? Why only the motherly or the romantic love gets portrayed too much to an extent that it is all we can see as far as our eyes can perceive? As if no other forms of love is worthy of being a part of our lives when in reality they are the ones that keep us from reaching insanity. The bonds of friendship, the exchange of similar ideas with colleagues, the smiling faces of old school mates or the many other different things that make us feel belonged and valued, how are they any less worthy of being in our lives than the predominantly showcased forms of love? Do they not help us to become more emphatic and a better person every day? Do they not care about us enough to let us be a part of their lives forever? Weak women and men have accepted this idea of fragile love and hence suffer from the madness of it breaking anytime and over anything. Insecurity breeds overwhelming-ness and that turns into madness quicker than we can find time to put our foot down.
Readers, there will always be times when it seems like we are incapable of change. But there will also be times that push and break us into becoming new versions of ourselves because that is the way of life. In such instances when you are bound to change, I hope you choose to change for the better and not for worse. Not all changes are bad and not all forms of love needs to be caged. When free speech is a human right why do we run like mad dogs to suppress it at every chance we get? It takes a village to raise a child. Similarly, it also takes a village to protect an adult from the daily burden of frustration and hardships. Only one man or one woman cannot and is not enough to complete your life. If you think so, then you have a very narrow definition of life. It takes all forms of love from everyone including parents, grandparents, friends, family, relatives, colleagues to make you feel belonged and valued. If you are restricting any of it then the price of losing love in whatsoever form is too much for us to be able to pay back in one lifetime.
Until next time, Readers ❤
