A disorganized mind is a devil’s haven (Part I)
Straight out of college, without any experience and timing null work hours every day, is the kind of stuff that is scarier than some of the most terrifying scenes of reel life. I am one among the many students who graduated this year without being able to physically capture a class photograph together to adorn the grid of my phone gallery. It is unfortunate how we have to adjust under the prevailing circumstances but it is more disheartening to not be able to celebrate our achievements normally . The extended lock down took a toll on my sanity and I got lucky to pull myself back to my senses before drowning in shit deep of insecurities.
One night I decided to give myself a break and rejuvenate because clearly I was taking some dicey decisions even before considering the consequences of my recklessness. In this blog I will attempt to share my unbiased experience in achieving a minor yet significant milestone and how simple things can satiate our thirst for contentment.
I have always been a person who gets tired mentally after a lot of socializing. In short, I enjoy the company of only a handful of people at a time because I feel comfortable and happy to secure a good conversation. So when the world got cut off physically and restrictions were placed to bring back normalcy, I found myself surrounded by an uninhibited social media messaging platforms. Like a hawk in search of life to sustain itself, I was glued to my phone screen, day in and day out and often for hours at a stretch. Momentarily, as it gave me a sense of comfort to know about how well others were handling the situation, it was later that I realized how stressing it was for me to be constantly bombarded with information that did not make any significant impact in my own life. Consuming such a HUGE amount of data every day eventually made me sick about myself even for trivial things such as feeling bad for not knowing how to properly plate a meal let alone make one myself. But since human interaction was a no-no, I could not help myself but give in to the endless cycle of self doubt until one day when I stopped giving into that shit.
I tell this from my own experience, it is very difficult to manage a good personal relationship with oneself if someone is too active on social media. At least this has been the case with me. The longer I spent my days scrolling down endless number of posts and and pages, the more mundane my life seemed to feel. However, reality had a different version of the same story to tell. Not to brag, but whilst I was let down by my own thoughts, I also enjoyed the comfort of sleeping on a cushioned bed in an air conditioned room with hot piping round rotis and sweet delicacies every night. In short, my life was nothing short of a dream for someone who was struggling to walk miles at once on the road while barely managing to sustain herself, sometimes even without a meal. The virtual reality that social media painted for me made me less grateful for the countless number of things I am blessed with, which many thousands of people have to struggle to get. This dark realization actually helped me from not falling into a deep shit of anything but the truth. Hence began my long journey of self rejuvenation and feeling more aligned with my thoughts instead of caring about the life we have normalized.
(Will continue on my next blog).
Until next time, Readers ❤
